BuzzFood

A Rail Tanker carrying Oatmeal near Dinglepass, Pennsylvania exploded, raining rolled oats over three counties. A nearby Boxcar of White Raisins was undamaged.

Yesterday morning, at around 10:38 E.S.T., the Universe apparently imploded at the speed of light, and immediately hyper-inflated back to it's original state. As far as investigators could detect, the only anomaly noticed was a slight darkening of a port-wine facial trait of a woman in Clipt, Florida.

Tryitt Foods today announce the release if its new chicken flavored Chicken Again Bites. Reviewers have reported that it tastes just like chicken.

Start-up business investor group, Kick-Some-Cans, received a hearty round of donations for a new business, called Impmations, that will revolutionize the way we read. Impmation's business involves expanding the Alphabet to 826 letters.

Feathers received a much-needed evolutionary upgrade, as the Vanes are now, sleeker, lighter and more aerodynamic, through the use of a Titanium-Aluminum keratin.

A spate of consumer demand caused an upsurge in new orders and market indicators inched forward as bond traders responded. Economists are divided about the significance of the new report, with some saying it is unsustainable, while others remained cautiously optimistic.

Textile Workers in Prink, Indonesia struck for the 4^th week in demand for a cool, tall, glass of water.

Animated cartoon producers Seth Parker, Trey Groening and Matt MacFarlane have announced a new show with the trio collaborating on a series called “Stupid Cupid.” It is the story of an overweight Butler in his mid 50's and his heartwarming stories of life in an apartment with his juvenile master of the house and his single Dad.

Pharmaceutical giant Psyclops announced release of a new drug that will both cause, and ease the symptoms of, self-alienation. When asked why they would market such a pill, a spokesman responded, “Just leave me the fuck alone.”

An alter ego Daisy has made it's debut on NBC's Soap Opera, “In the Back Room.” The Daisy is identical with it's counterpart, but cross-dresses as a Black-eyed Susan.

Grammatical International has announced the suspension of pronouns. Executive member Blake Interspoon said it was He His idea that all of the world's people go by proper names. He could not be reached for comment, though He is aware His idea has stirred controversy.

Harley Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Here is a night picture of my Apple Tree. It had an amazing fractal branching structure, but it is dying, and the branches are falling off it, and I will need to cut it down. This tree did it right. It has few regrets, and carries every one of it's mistakes with it, and still makes a ton of apples. I had an insight about this tree. It has grown and regrown in this spot for a few hundred years, as apple trees are wont to do. An apple doesn't fall far. And it is dying now, at a time when another intrepid explorer friend of mine has disappeared, My little Harley Grrl, my cat (one of them.) Harley Grrl never ate meat, she just ate the dry food, and especially loved the cat treats. She inherited a weak tooth structure, and you could literally see the marrow in her fang canines. But she was so sweet, she would never hurt anything. Her twin sister was rough with her when they were kittens, but even when she grew bigger than her sister, she was gentle as can be., and with her little brother, Sea Biskit. The background for her is simple. She was a little meeker than the other cats, and was eager, just always eager, to follow the others, and see what they were doing. Cats are cats though, and would invariably give her a swat of their paw. So she found her own little spot by an intersection (I-Power, [it's true]) down the road a ways from the house. She wasn't going to settle for taken territory, she was going to find her own ground, and she did. Down by there was a a little stream, and she would bring back frogs, not dead ones, perfectly alive. That was her telling us she loved us. And she was happy to have lived here for a year and a half, since birth, and ecstatic she had her own little wonderland to roam, that was just next door to her pride. But then she disappeared. There was a Black Fox near living near the river (but not anymore), so we do not know what happened. She was brave and lived her life right, and she is missed by everyone, even my apple tree.